Growing Up

Tomorrow is Lillian's birthday, she'll be 2 years old already!! I have found that in the process of growing up not much phases me. I don't get emotional when my kids get out of their tiniest clothes, or when they start walking, or give up their pacifiers. I don't cry when they become potty trained, or when they stop sleeping with their little butt in the air. I celebrate with them in all those moments and am as proud of their accomplishments as they are. But, the day before their birthday.... I am a mess. Everything becomes a last for me. The last time Josh will kiss her goodbye as a 1 year old. The last time I'll put her down for her nap as a one year old. The last time I'll get to hold and snuggle and smell her as a 1 year old. The last time I lay her down for the night as a 1 year old. Now granted when she wakes up in the morning she's still going to be my same feisty little Lilli, wrestling Roy to get her babies back, spilling food during every meal because she insists on not wearing a bib, asking to watch Kipper the Dog, Angelina Ballerina or Zoe, giving me lots of hugs and kisses and "I love yous" throughout the day. But someday she won't she keeps changing and the day before her birthday is when I look back and see how different she has become. Tomorrow I'll celebrate with her and be truly excited about her growing up, but for today I'm sentimental and teary eyed.

newborn Lilli